So begins another day…

A strange day Saturday was as all my fruit emulation forum accounts have been closed on the same day. Although I knew it was going to happen, and indeed wanted it to happen, it is still a part – a big part – of my life that I have closed because of the changes I am needing to make.

The weather hasn’t helped today either… we have had very heavy downpours, and as if the weather was knowing how I might be feeling – it decided that I should have a leaking porch way roof! I have got the emergency council home repairs coming out Sunday morning to come abc repair it. My nephew stood on my wheelie bin and said I have a big puddle on my roof porch and that is where the leak is coming in.

So today starts a new chapter in the life of Daryl – and if it is like previous chapters in my life then I know that it sure won’t be uneventful!

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A clean break…

ImageI’ve made a big decision today…

…although in fact I had made it a few weeks ago, but have only just actioned it to take place.

I have been into fruit machine emulation for well over a decade. For all of those who aren’t aware of what fruit machine emulation is (FME for short and future reference) it is the emulation of fruit (slot machines) that were played in the amusement arcades of the UK throughout the 1980s, 1990s and 2000s – up to and including some of the present slots available to play now.

For two years I was also honoured and privileged to have been made a Moderator at the main site for FME and downloads to play it called Fruit Emu. Whilst there I found and made quite a few personal friends who I have had the privilege to meet in real life and we have had some fun, and tears along the way.

Today I have resigned (or rather retired) officially as a Moderator there, and also as a member, along with two other sites that I also visited that were FME related at one time or another. I haven’t done this rashly, as mentioned earlier, but as a long-though out process which I have finally braced and sanctioned today. 

To say I feel relieved is an understatement – I feel extremely vitalised by the decision I have made, but also, as expected a little sad too… but when you lose the passion for something, and no longer wish to be a part of it, then it is best to make that clean break and that is what I have done. I don’t regret it one bit – I have a future that is limited I know, so that is why I wish to embrace what I do have with a clear mind and full energy, and not be held back by ghosts of the past – and that is what FME is for me now.

the friends I have made I have them on Facebook – the enemies I have made along the way in the FME scene will no doubt be sighing a big breath of relief – but either way, I know I will have left my mark on the fruit emulation scene, and hopefully Fruit Emu itself!

Goodbye to all that – hello to what is to come!

some of those closest to me…

Mam (Hogsthorpe)

This is my mother (Mam) Jill… she was born in 1933. She is now in the later stages of Alzheimer’s Disease and is in a carehome with my stepfather Mac, who also has the same illness.


This is my darling beloved grandmother (Mamma) Lilian Frances… she was my Mam’s mother and an absolute angel, and I miss her so very much – she passed away in January 1997 at the age of 87 years old…. she too had the start of dementia.

My Dad

This is my father (Dad) William Edward, who was known to his family and friends as ‘Ted’… he died on New Year’s Eve 2001, just one day short of his 75th birthday which would’ve been New Year’s Day – there aren’t many people born on the first day of one year and die on the last day of another – he would’ve liked the irony of that!


This is my nephew Roy, who used to live with me until 2013, when I moved into my complex… he was born on Christmas Day 1975. He has four children altogether from two partners, and is currently living with two of them and his stepchild with Katie, the mother of the youngest of his kids.

Mac (Hogsthorpe)

This is my stepfather Richard Arthur, known to all his family and friends as ‘Mac’… he has now joined my Mam in the carehome that they live at because of their deteriorating conditions with Alzheimer’s.

Jill, June and me.

This is a photo taken of my twin sisters and myself on Christmas Day 2005. Jill (left) is 10 minutes older than my sister June (right) and they are identical twins… they were born in June 1951.


This is my only brother Kevin Edward… he was born in February 1953 and is married to my sister-in-law Sandra.


This is the youngest of the first four of my siblings – my sister Karen… she was born in May 1955 and is 10 years older than I am – she has three children from her first husband Pete.


This is my sister-in-law Sandra, and she is married to my brother Kevin… they married on my Mam’s birthday in March 1981.

Sue & Chris

This photo is of my niece Susan and her husband Chris… they have two children and have been together now for nearly 30 years!

Beth - Josh - Kristian

This lovely photo is of my nephew Roy’s two youngest children, Bethany and Joshua and his stepson Kristian… I love them all very much, and they do me too!

This and that…

I have had an eventLawn 2ful few weeks since my last blog, and to be honest it has all been good so far…

…I’ve often wondered what it would be like to actually be in a good frame of mind, in fact I had forgotten what it was like to even have one – but I have again at last found it – and believe it is a wonderful feeling to have after years of turmoil, emotion and acceptance of situations and life in general!

Today has been an example of the kind of feeling I have had. My nephew Roy came over with his partSutton-Lawn-Damner and their children, and we only went to the local park that is a five-minute walk from where I live. But the really wonderful thing about it was that I was acknowledging the fact that I was out with them, the glorious weather we’ve been having and seeing my great nephews and
great niece really enjoying themselves and falling out with each other as to who was going to hold my hand whilst we walked in the park (I have my walking stick in the other, so only one hand was available) and just ‘being there’ at that moment in time – it was just magical!

We then all came back to my bungalow (BungalHome) and I ordered a Chinese takeaway for our late teas… and the excitement of the kids as they ate their dinners on the patio on my back garden – I have never bSutton Lawneen able to see all of these things this past few years, and it was like an epiphany – I have at long last realised that I have now ‘come back home’ for good – and I love it!

A long overdue update…


My Mam and Mac (stepdad) taken with me at my new home, which I’ve affectionately named ‘BungalHome’!

I moved into my new bungalow, which I have affectionately called BungalHome, on 12 October 2013. In time my Alzheimer’s Disease and Parkinson’s Disease will inevitably deteriorate, and it is because because of this, that I was granted a dispensation to get a bungalow within an elderly complex, for security and manageability throughout the years I have left.

Today is the first time that my mother and stepfather has visited my home, as they have had their own troubles with their conditions and trying to get them both into a carehome – well now we have – we are all settled, as they both have single beds in the same room at Loxley Lodge, and they are together being looked after much more ably than I have been able to do because of my conditions.

We had a very lovely time whilst they were here… my own support worker brought her Jeep so as it made it able to bring them both to bring them to my bungalow and take them back to their carehome, and I really had a lovely day!